I fall in love easily. I fall in love with situations, moments, people, and ideas. It’s like an indelible mark made on the skin. It sticks to me, I ingest it and it becomes a part of me. I don’t share it. I repress it. I think we all do. Fleeting things that you can go back to when you need respite. I delight in the feeling of falling in hopelessly and bringing myself back.
Then that question comes. You know the one I’m talking about. It’s the one my husband asks sometimes. I’m not sure if it’s because he wants to know or if it’s a different way of finding more about the subject of love. The question: “Why do you love me? What is so special about me?”
It’s not a hard question to answer. The answer: “I love you because it’s how I feel about you.” You can’t say, “I don’t know.” It sounds dismissive, but it’s not. It’s true. I don’t really know why I love someone. I could say it’s because of their smile, their generosity, their kind spirit or the freckles on their nose. However, there are all the negative things I love too. The flashy temper tantrums, the needless coolness during a conflict, and the irritating way they try to say sorry without having to say they’re sorry.
I love because it’s there. I love because I experience it. I love because it makes me want to be more than I am. There are too many connotations allotted to that feeling and maybe the word “love” itself encompasses way too much in our brains from what we feel in our hearts. I love furiously and with all the affection that I can.
Love because you do.
Today I arrived home to my funny kitty, K2. K2 sat on the couch as I took off my shoes and when I spotted her, I hid. Then I popped my head up and her eyes got wider. I repeated this a few times while giggling. She seemed so shocked that I could disappear like that. Silly cat. I LOVE HER.
My sketch today.
This one I just started and I don’t think I’ll finish it tonight. I’ve been experiencing a creepy crawly sensation along my arms and face; it feels like tiny ants all over. I’m almost positive it’s due to anxiety. Either way, I have thoughts on where this drawing is going, but we’ll see. I love ants. There are ants that farm fungus, herd aphids, go to war, and have slaves. Ants fascinate me.
I’ll be in Chicago on Thursday. Looking forward to meeting fellow runners and taking in a bit of the city I’ve heard of, read of and watched many movies on.
“Science requires an active interest in the simple occurrences of life for their own sake.”-Alfred North Whitehead
jacqueline valencia 